the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We are all done wearing pants today
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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