Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
