Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Randomize
