the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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