1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
