a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize