Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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