Fine. I'll sleep in my office
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
