Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
