I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
