You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
