Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
