OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
