The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
