i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
