You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I skipped work to stalk him.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
