i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
