i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
So. Much. Porn.
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