Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We don't watch enough power rangers
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
