You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
