he told me I talked like a deaf person
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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