he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
