there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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