Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
