i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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