We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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