We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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