I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
