3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
