Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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