I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
