You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
