Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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