i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
