So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I think a kid would responsible me up
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
