She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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