For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
