im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
