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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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