it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
