8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
