i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize