New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
