she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
