college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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