Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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