So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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