Where is the hickey?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
