with your own penis?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
