Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
