I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
