absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
