Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly

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(630): View more from Illinois

why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?

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(760): View more from California

new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere

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(512): View more from Texas

Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.

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(248): View more from Michigan

On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful

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(512): View more from Texas

Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.

(210): View more from Texas

Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.

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