so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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