This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
