I think my vagina is haunted
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
