do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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