It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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