is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
