After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
