just come out here and I will go home with you...
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
