opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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