So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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