I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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