we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
