I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
